Let Me Tell You About My Mother

Okay, writers of the heartwrenching and majestic Eagle Eye: you have our attention. And we all want to decapitate you. Happy now?


For those of you who haven't heard the news, according to Slashfilm spies who attended a G&A hosted by Creative Screenwriting (which my inbox says was on the 25th) two of the film's douchebag writers, Travis Wright and John Glenn, the same douches who're currently rewriting The Warriors, have been putting together a Blade Runner sequel for the past couple years.

Excuse me?

YES, they said BLADE RUNNER. SEQUEL. TO BLADE RUNNER. Luckily they're shit writers (obviously) so the likelyhood that this might get made is small. But I saw dollar signs in the eyes of the WB execs I told last November that I'd seen the Final Cut in theaters three times in one week. Regardless though ...

WHAT THE FUCK?

Does Leon have to bust a cap in these guys? Because I'll dig up Brion James and reanimate him just to do so. Hell, I'd take one for the team and do it myself. Since they're no doubt familiar with The Warriors by this point -- at least we'd hope -- they should know that they've basically killed Cyrus in this town, so they better watch their backs if they actually plan to pitch this thing around town.


The worst part about the proposed film and the pretentious c**twaffles behind it is that, unlike Spaceablanca this project is DEAD SERIOUS. These assholes actually think that they can make a SEQUEL to BR and HAVE IT NOT SUCK.

Well let's see. Besides creativity and class, these guys seem to be lacking:

- Rutger Hauer
- Harrison Ford
- Ridley Scott
- David Peoples (who wrote Unforgiven)
- A NOVEL BY PHILIP K DICK

But I'm sure they can, you know, cast Shia LaBeouf and Michael Chiklis as Blade Runners who, I dunno, fuck some chicks and compete to take out the same score. What's another paycheck, right?