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Showing posts with label infernal affairs yo. Show all posts
Showing posts with label infernal affairs yo. Show all posts

IGN does another shitty list

Saturday, September 13, 2008


Who hates the Departed? EVERYONE!


IGN has done a list of the top ten Bad Cop movies. Most of the list is okay, but it's not particularly energetic.


10. Leon: The Professional

Leon (Jean Reno) is a cleaner. A hitman. A professional killer. Mathilda (Natalie Portman) is a little girl with attitude. Not exactly a combo you'd expect in a classic, but life is all about surprises. Their lives become intertwined when a group of corrupt cops (led by the delightfully over-the-top Gary Oldman) kill her drug-dealing father and her family. Mathilda arrives on the scene after the fact while the cops are still there and Leon saves her life by letting her into his apartment down the hall.

The sacrifice by the reclusive assassin is far from cut and dried. By saving her, the complications are too many to ignore and he must choose to accept her into his life or add her to his extensive list of victims.

What follows is a combination of insight into the hit-man business, a look at police corruption, and most importantly, a pseudo-love story where every aspect is wrong except the bond between a cold-blooded killer and a very young girl. This story could have traversed a very dangerous moral boundary (it did start a very wide-based, near-scary appreciation of Portman from men across the globe), but somehow it doesn't cross the point of bad taste.

9. Magnum Force

Clint Eastwood reprises his role as "Dirty" Harry Callahan, a rugged detective hot on the trail of a series of crooked cops that feel as if they can break the law in order to bring justice down a lot harder than they have the rights to.

When a trio of motorcycle troopers take to gunning down criminals without regard for evidence or due process, Dirty Harry must rise to protect the system that he's been known to circumvent. Magnum Force presents an interesting mirror to the original Dirty Harry by creating villains who challenge Callahan's reluctance to let the law stand between justice and injustice. Harry must not only look inward to identify the blurry line between right and wrong, but must navigate the social and governmental politics of San Francisco.

Scripted by John Milius, Magnum Force maintains the delicate blend of action and drama of Dirty Harry, yet serves to examine and comment upon themes only hinted at in the first film. It's not as effective as its predecessor – the villains aren't nearly as remarkable – but it's about something, which is a claim many modern-day sequels can't rightfully make.

8. Cop Land

Sylvester Stallone plays Sheriff Freddy Heflin, a would-be NYPD officer except he's deaf in one ear. So as a favor, he's given the sheriff's job in tiny Garrison, N.J., just across the George Washington Bridge. City laws in New York require police to live in the city, which they couldn't afford, but thanks to a loophole, they took part-time gigs with the transit authority, which extended its reach into Jersey, allowing their escape.

Thanks to a Mob-connected officer affectionately known as Uncle Ray (Harvey Keitel), they all have cheap mortgages for their homes. The city is so full of cops it's called Cop Land. Freddy's job is hardly difficult. Who in the world is going to start trouble in a city almost entirely populated by police officers?

Internal Affairs, led by Moe Tilden (Robert De Niro), gets to work. But there's more soap opera. Another cop, Figgis (Ray Liotta), has his problems with Ray while Freddy has issues with Joey Randone (Peter Berg) and to a lesser degree his wife Liz (Annabella Sciorra). Cop Land is essentially a western about a deputy who has to clean up a dirty town, complete with a shootout ending.

7. Internal Affairs (now they're just asking for teh rage)

Dennis Peck (Richard Gere) is a savvy and manipulative Los Angeles Police Department patrolman who has a little dirt on nearly all of his colleagues. He is soon targeted by dedicated, young Internal Affairs detective Raymond Avila (Andy Garcia) because he lives above his means.

The devious Peck, however, turns the tables on Avila and starts playing mind-games with him. Avila even starts to believe that Peck has seduced his wife Kathleen (Nancy Travis), and he grows increasingly agitated the closer he gets to busting the veteran officer.

Mike Figgis directed Internal Affairs from a screenplay by Henry Bean (Deep Cover, Basic Instinct 2)

6. Training Day

This gritty cop drama takes place during the course of one long, hellish day in the life of two LAPD officers. Former high school football star Jake Hoyt (Ethan Hawke) has only been on the force for a short while when he's assigned to an anti-drug unit in the Rampart Division of the LAPD, which covers some of the city's nastiest high-crime sections. On this fateful day, Hoyt will be shown the ropes by Detective Sergeant Alonzo Harris (Oscar winner Denzel Washington) -- a 13-year veteran whose tactics and ethics are more than a little bit questionable.

Hoyt will lose his innocence during the course of this single day because of what Alonzo exposes him to. He realizes that his boy scout values are not as rock solid as he'd originally thought; many of his mentor's street lessons make more sense than he cares to admit.

Alonzo and Hoyt cruise around the L.A. netherworld in his "G-Ride," encountering various gangstas, victims, dealers, snitches, and "civilians." Along the way, we learn more about Alonzo's fall from grace, his morally dubious private life, and his explosive secret plan that involves Jake.

5. Bad Lieutenant

An unnamed homicide detective (Harvey Keitel) is in a downward spiral of drugs, booze, gambling, and hookers when he begins investigating the brutal rape of a nun. This case may be his last shot at redemption before the bookies he owes a small fortune to decide to settle his bill for him. No illicit behavior is too low for "The Bad Lieutenant" to stoop to; he even spanks himself in front of traffic offenders!

Abel Ferrara (King of New York) directed this 1992 indie classic, which has spawned the 2009 follow-up Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call New Orleans. Nicolas Cage plays the titular rogue cop in that Werner Herzog-directed film, which is neither a remake nor a re-imagining of the 1992 movie. Who would have thought that Bad Lieutenant would have spawned a franchise?

4. Touch of Evil

While on his honeymoon with Susan (Janet Leigh), Mexican-born narc Mike Vargas (Charlton Heston) is pulled into a bombing investigation. What he finds instead is the wrath of local police chief Hank Quinlan (Orson Welles, who also directed) -- a bloated bully whose perfect arrest record is just the first hint of his inherent corruption. When Vargas proves too determined to see a framed bombing suspect receive justice, Quinlan retaliates against Vargas by targeting his wife.

This virtuoso Film Noir is widely considered Welles' other masterpiece besides Citizen Kane. Welles, true to form, lost control of the film eventually, re-shoots were conducted, and a cut that the director wasn't terribly happy with was released. But over the years, as Welles began to regain the respect of cineastes -- especially after his death -- an interest in his cut of the film grew, and finally this take on Touch of Evil was released in 1998.

Heston usually gets looked over when this picture is discussed, serving as little more than a punch line because of his character's nationality and skin color. But it's noteworthy that the actor was eager to pursue other types of films early in his stardom. He was not content in the years following The Ten Commandments to simply sit on his Moses laurels and make biblical epic after biblical epic, and he apparently recognized the genius in Welles that was not so readily acknowledged in 1958 Hollywood. The result is a great film that has and will continue to stand the test of time.

3. Some Shitty Scorsese Film










2. Serpico

This fact-based 1974 cop drama is based on Peter Maas' book about NYPD officer Frank Serpico (Al Pacino). Serpico began his career as a wide-eyed idealist but quickly becomes disillusioned and angered by the corruption he finds within the force. Becoming an unorthodox "lone wolf" plain clothes narc, Serpico only stirs up more trouble for himself when he won't accept bribes, a noble action that makes his fellow detectives distrust him all the more.

Pushed to his breaking point, Serpico soon agrees to cooperate with the authorities who are out to rid the NYPD of its graft. That fateful decision nearly costs Serpico his life when he's shot in the face in the line of duty and his fellow narcs do little to help him.

Director Sidney Lumet cornered the market on films about corruption in the NYPD, thanks to Serpico and his subsequent films Prince of the City, Q&A, and Night Falls on Manhattan, all of which feature some pretty reprehensible boys in blue.

1. L.A. Confidential

This Neo-Noir gem based on James Ellroy's novel recreates the underbelly of glitzy 1950s Los Angeles. LAPD Lt. Ed Exley (Guy Pearce) and Officer Bud White (Russell Crowe) initially hate each other, but when their parallel investigations into the Nite Owl Massacre leads them to a massive conspiracy within their department, they set aside their differences to find the truth and attain justice. Exley's a born politician who uses his "hero status" to get promoted; White's not as dumb as he seems and is a man you don't want to tick off. With Exley's brains and White's brawn, they crack a case that could bring the LAPD to its knees.

Meanwhile, "Hollywood Jack" Vincennes (Kevin Spacey) is a vice cop who is in cahoots with a tabloid publisher (Danny DeVito) when he's not serving as a technical consultant on a cop TV show. Jack's own investigation ties in with Exley and White's case but it leads to his doom. Oscar-winner Kim Basinger portrays Lynn, a hooker caught up in the conspiracy who falls for Bud but toys with Exley.

Maybe it's the fact that he carries an aura of grandfatherly warmth or that he played the lead in Babe, but Capt. Dudley (James Cromwell) looks like the last person to be a corrupt cop. Which makes his betrayal all the more brutal and surprising, proving himself to be one of the "Rollo Tomasi." Granted, Dudley was more diabolical in the book, but the new cinematic take lends itself to an equally memorable persona. Whereas you could typically spot dirty cops quickly in most movies, this one takes you by startling surprise.
Nance on......
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Casting Cowboy Bebop The Movie Movie

Thursday, September 4, 2008

Now that Keanu Reeves has been ("unofficially") cast as Spike Spiegel in the Cowboy Bebop live action movie -- which we called the day it was announced Fox was going forward with this abomination -- it's time to throw bets down on the other, albeit trickier characters. First up we have:



Jet Black

Though Jet is often the sarcastic comic relief of the show, today's pompous and "realistic" film climate means that CB will most likely end up as "a gritty re-imagining" of CB, aka devoid of wit an charm. (See: Infernal Affairs) My guess is Jet will be the first to suffer.


Who it should be:
The Rock

Why: The Rock is built like a truck but can still pull off good comedy. He's willing to take pratfalls and kicks ass as the same time.





Who it could be:
Vin Diesel

Why: Because let's face it, the guys at the top will probably run out of steam before the script is even finished. Fox might be distributing, but they're too busy working on Jumper 2 and trying to sabotage Watchmen to care about some anime remake. It's bad enough that the production company, 3 Arts (actually a top tier management company) only has a few films under its belt and nothing to show that they're the best suited for this project (other than the fact that they happened to make an animated movie that starred Keanu).

Who we're rooting for instead:
The Rock

Why: He's really proven he's willing to go the distance in an over the top role, and if they're gonna go with someone who's brains and brawns, we'd far prefer Dwayne to Vin. Besides, Doom was basically an audition tape.


Faye Valentine

Faye is the sassy chick who wears no clothes but is quite clever and can kick a lot of ass, despite having the angstiest backstory of all. She will probably be translated into the sassy chick who wears no clothes. And is probably dumb.


Who it should be:
Zooey Deschanel

Why: Hollywood doesn't like sassy girls unless they're weird looking or overweight or ethnic--none of which describes Faye. So for Faye to not end up a walking pair of tits it's necessary to find a good-looking actress who's primarily known for her body of work rather than her body. But of course Hollywood thinks in reverse terms, meaning the most likely candidate will be ...

Who it could be:
Megan Fox

Why: She's sassy and wears few clothes in both Transformers and the upcoming Jennifer's Body. Her star and pornstar face are on the rise, and there's no faster way to guarantee pubescent boys buy tickets. Well, other than adding a couple of TIE Fighters.


Who we're rooting for instead
:
Zooey Deschanel

Why: Because if that hobag Rose McGowen gets interested in sinking her claws into the role Zooey is younger and has way more clout. She's worked on 6 films this year already, and has already put in some tentpole hours. Plus, we're adorably naive.


Ed

Let's face it. Ed probably won't make it onscreen as anything other than a sentient computer or brief cameo if we're lucky. I mean, how are you supposed to cast a girl who might be a boy anyway? We'd go with Miley Cyrus.


Vicious

Let's assume Gren's out too and skip right to the bad guy. I actually hate Vicious, as he's kind of a low-budget Sephiroth though excruciatingly generic. If we're lucky they'll do a plot removed from canon, but considering the type of bad guys we've been seeing lately (Dark Knight excluded) we'll probably be seeing a love triangle situation instead.




Who it should be:
Lee Pace

Why: Because let's face it, as a bishounen Vicious has a duty to look like he could be gay. Also, Lee looks a bit older than he is, and a younger Vicious would help the studio to cast a younger Julia.





Who it could be:
Edward Norton

Why: Because no en vogue A-lister would agree to be to such a stupid character, no matter how angst-ridden they make his backstory, and Ed Norton loves to phone in shitty movies. But you can't just throw in any old hack to battle a bunch of A-listers. Audiences wouldn't be able to take it seriously. It's also excruciatingly hard to find another 40 year-old as young looking as Keanu.



Who we're rooting for instead
:
Sam Rockwell

Why: He's pretty versatile, and it wouldn't hurt his career. Plus he can play badass very well. But we'd really prefer a different bad guy.





Julia

Even though Julia is just a macguffin that forces Spike to battle Vicious and bebop across the galaxy, in a film translation there would be an outcry from feminists everywhere that she was being objectified. So instead she'll end up with too much screen time and too little story, but hey, it's a chance to cast a hot blonde opposite the hot brunette.


Who it should be:
Liv Tyler

Why: Because it's hard to hate Liv, and she's sweet and beautiful without looking skanky or plastic. Likability is going to be a big problem with Julia because she's so bland. Julia also needs to be age appropriate to be running around with Spike and Vicious.



Who it could be:
Katherine Heigl

Why: She got a slap on the wrist from Htown after dissing her character in Knocked Up, even though it was totally warranted. Then she goofed again by withdrawing herself from Emmy consideration due to poor writing on Grey's. Ouch. Luckily for producers she's a decent actress and they'll probably be able to get her cheap when no one else is willing to hire her.





Who we're rooting for instead:
Julia Stiles

Why: Even though she's a bit young, she'd bring a bit of ass-kicking potential to the role which might be the direction they're taking anyway. She was great in the Bourne series and cleans up well. Plus, her name's Julia!






Ein

The lovable, super-intelligent pup. Already cast:





Haley Joel Osment

PS -- That was the unskankiest pic I could find of Megan Fox. You know why? Because it doesn't show anything below the neck.

Nance on......
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