Gay Gaiken

Oh Cary, how could you have deceived me so?

Okay. By now even the "reputable" online news sources are weighing in on the Claymates' shockingly unshocking discovery. While most sites have been copy pasta-ing choice quote from Fandom Wank, there's a more serious issue at hand: How could anyone NOT know?

At no point did Clay Aiken ever shout his heterosexuality from the rooftops. Though we don't like to discriminate, we would imagine 90% of sane people would "know" just by looking at or hearing him. It's not like we're living in the 1940's where he has to beard himself with Doris Day (whom he can now rave about freely).

So what is it about the fangirl archetype that makes them so damned delusional? Did he bring one of them a piece of toast? Or are they just pathetically desperate enough that they couldn't find someone else (hotter/more talented) to dream about at night ? Because the worst (and most hilarious) part of this whole net fiasco is: he's not attractive and HE'S NOT EVEN THAT GOOD OF A SINGER.

But to be serious for a moment, one has to wonder why these girls are so viciously attracted to someone like Clay. And the only obvious answer is that he's perfect. In a way. He's not intimidating. He seems like a pretty nice guy. He certainly doesn't womanize, doesn't live his life on the edge, and considering the new baby, he's exactly what every little girl dreams of. So can you really blame them?

Maybe the Josh Hartnetts and Jude Laws of the world could learn a little lesson or two. And maybe it's not the Claymates who are insane, but all those girls who pine after douchebags.

What dreams are made of ...